the poet in you

The Waco book sale was today. It will run through the weekend but I knew that if I didn't go the first day everything would be pretty much picked over. As it was, even on the morning of the first day, I really didn't do too well. It's also very difficult to compete with the barcode scanners that every Tom, Dick and Harry insist on using although I can hardly blame them. Eventually I'll get a barcode scanner myself; it certainly takes the guesswork out of buying books that you are unfamiliar with.

My favorite find was The Novels of Muriel Spark, Vol. 1 & 2 published by Houghton Mifflin. It a very handsome set, very clean and tight. The rest was just random, Flying Changes by Sara Gruen (the author of Water For Elephants), a copy of Botany of Desire, some vintage dog breed books but nothing too remarkable. Last year I found a fantastic book on the Basenji. No such luck this year. I got enough to keep me busy through the weekend and into Monday.

I can already anticipate what my distractions will be, two sick dogs and dealing with the ticket that I got on the way up to the sale. I haven't had a ticket in nearly fifteen years. It was a good streak that's come to an end. I'm not going to say I wasn't speeding. The only thing I can say about the matter is that there was a good song on the radio, the traffic was light and I had a wonderful expanse of road in front of me. I was just rolling along, minding my own business. I felt like I was in that luxury lane that Kramer made in that Seinfeld episode. Thinking back on it though, that didn't end very well either. 

" 'Always do what you are afraid to do,' Ralph Waldo Emerson's visionary Aunt Mary advised him. We tie ourselves in knots to sabotage the energy that might be unleashed if we move resolutely ahead. The risks of making changes are great...Actually the risks of not making changes are great. We risk missing our lives."

One Continuous Mistake: Four Noble Truths For Writers
by Gail Sher

The hinge on my iBook broke Saturday evening. First there was the shock, unwarranted of course since this had been a long time coming. The hinge hadn't felt "right" in ages. Then, I wanted to shriek and cry like a bald-headed baby.Those babies have all the fun. I envy the fact that they get to voice their displeasure with such abandon.  But that is how I felt, "WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

And you know what didn't help? It didn't help that Michael has been telling me to take the computer to the repair guy for weeks now. The other thing that doesn't help is that the I am anticipating adding a lot of new books to my inventory and really need the laptop to upload new listings. And strangely? It doesn't help that my sales are up and I need the iBook for packing slips, postage, etc. It also doesn't help that the battery on my cell phone is giving up the ghost. I always knew they were in cahoots, the iBook and the cellphone.

It's now two days later, I've propped open the screen and have it resting on a bookend so it doesn't flop over and break it's spine leaving me completely adrift. I've taped the bookend to the tabletop to prevent it from sliding. As my mother-in-law would say, "That's classy".

The upside of the whole thing crossed my mind this morning while I was carrying the printer down the hallway. Gutenberg would be impressed, I thought. That's the ridiculous thought that crossed my mind. I can carry my printer through the house. He couldn't do that. I don't even know if his printer would fit in my living room. I imagined the expression that would be on the little German's face seeing a printer carried from one room to the next. It's funny what our imaginations indulge in. I'm glad that my imagination just took off and made me laugh. It was the shift in perspective that I needed. This will all work itself out. Eventually. By the end of the week. It better or else....WAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I worked the afternoon shift today at the vet clinic. It's usually a very pleasant day, short and quick and I have a good co-worker with me. An hour into the shift she sighs and expresses discontent. I thought nothing of it, the clinic is a hard place to work, we have a staggeringly low moral. In a nutshell, poor management. Twenty minutes past the sigh my co-worker says, 'I'm outta here", and was. It was so quick. Gone.

Will I see her again? I don't know. How do people do that? Part of me is envious, I've been wanting to leave the clinic for sometime now. But to walk out the door mid-shift? That's decisive. I'll miss her. She was as close to perfect as we've ever had. And I feel for her because now she will be the object of the office manager's thoughtless and pointless vindictiveness, if she tries to use the clinic as a reference that is. Just let her be, I say. It simply wasn't a good environment for her. And she knew that and she did something about it. That chick was alright.

The t.v. weatherman said, "Sunshine abundant in Central Texas" and he wasn't kidding. The temperatures are hovering in the mid-70's and the sky is a crisp blue. Michael and I clipped six ancho chiles from the garden this morning and made rellenos. They had to be oven-roasted first which had the house bursting with that wonderful roasted chile smell. It gave me a wonderful feeling, spending the morning with Michael. My life felt safe and sane and sweet. Even as a child I don't remember my home feeling this way. I think this is why I revel in this life with Michael so much. I don't ever want it to stop.

It's been so long since I've last posted that I almost forgot how to log in. I'm not sure why I didn't post much last month but I purposely chose that route. I thought about posting several times during October but told myself to wait, wait until November. In the back of my mind I thought that I'd use the blog to release steam during NaNoWriMo, an event that I enjoy participating in every year.

I use the phrase "enjoy participating in" very loosely. I seem to get very tight, full of doubt and unable to write much of anything in November so it is far from enjoyable. I thought that this year I could use my blog to write without the pressure of completing 1,667 words each day. I could use this space to write about the cows in the cemetery, about the absurdly huge pumpkin down the street, about the wonderful cool fall weather that we are having in Austin and about the spike in book sales that I am experiencing. I mean to tell ya, I am selling a lot of books!

Later this month I'll be making my second annual trip to Waco for a very large book sale. I've been looking forward to it for months and have promised myself to purge as many books as I can beforehand, a feat which has yet to take place. I'm too busy posting new books and it's left me with no time to purge old books. I am making a concerted effort to reach a monetary goal with the books that Michael has set for me. It's a challenge but the payoff would be so rewarding. I have wanted to make bookselling my sole source of income for a long time now and I think that my biggest obstacle has been time management. True confessions, people, I have the attention span of a gnat. If there is a funny commercial on tv, or a lost cow out back or or god forbid, Brothers & Sisters is on tv, I'm there!

Self-discipline has never been my strong suit. I'm working at it but it always feel like one step forward and two steps back. And now with NaNo in the picture, well maybe my blog is just another distraction but one in which I can justify by telling myself that at least I'm writing. Writing without pressure, without plot and writing as many words as I damn well please.